The Most Important Thing I Learned While Dressing with Less

I used to buy clothes every week or two, even if I didn't technically need anything new.  Why?  I was hoping to look cuter, more stylish, or more professional.  Thinner, and more fun.  Or maybe more serious!

Whatever my hopes, I always felt I had something to prove.  I was trying to create a persona, because I definitely didn't believe that I could be accepted and loved at face value.  I used my wardrobe to create a look that others would like.

That's why I pity celebrities.  They're always trying to create a look that entices others.  We look at them, judge them, and maybe try to emulate what they're doing.  It's sad, really, because they can never just be themselves.  They can't even age normally.

So even when I was pregnant, even after I had two children and my body was changed forever and clothes that fit me became harder to find, I bought new stuff all the time.  Eventually, I bought fewer clothes, because it was too frustrating and made me feel awful about myself.  I didn't stop buying, though.  I went for accessories instead, because those always fit.  I had a ton of jewelry, scarves, belts, and purses.  And my closet was still full of clothes I might be able to wear again someday.

Benefits of a minimalist wardrobe

As I began exploring minimalism, I eventually got around to my wardrobe.  (I actually started in my kitchen.)  As I curated a basic capsule wardrobe for myself, I reduced decision fatigue and made the process of getting dressed so much simpler.  Instead of trying every new style and color, I stuck with what I liked and what suited my body, so it became easy to look neat and presentable without the daily drama of feelings such as:

• I have nothing to wear!
• I can't wear that again; I just wore it last week!
• I have nothing to wear!
• This color/style looks awful on me, but I don't have anything else.
• I have nothing to wear!
• I really need to go clothes shopping again.
• I have nothing to wear!
• I liked this in the store, but I hate it on myself now.
• I have nothing to wear!

I've found that two or three pairs of well-fitting jeans, a half dozen tops in cuts and colors I like, and comfortable, unobtrusive shoes are quick to put on, simple to mix and match, easy to care for, and look classic and coordinated.  On cooler days, I add my favorite denim jacket and a colorful scarf I crocheted myself.  When I need to be dressier, I don black trousers or a simple black dress I can pair with jewelry or a pretty, unconstructed, open-front jacket.

The surprising truth

I've learned so much from dressing with less.  I've learned that I felt guilt and shame about my closet – guilt about how much I had spent, and shame about things that would never fit again.  When I finally let that guilt and shame fade away, I learned how to control my shopping, which means I've saved a ton of money.

Instead of spending time and energy deciding what to wear, I open my closet and put on whatever is there.  The result is not only more time and mental freedom, but the realization that I don't need fashion to express myself.  I know what matters to me, and it isn't my wardrobe.  And I express myself quite well with my words and actions.

But here's the most important and surprising thing that I've learned by dressing with less.  When I first started, I was a little worried about what people might say when they observed me wearing the same or similar pieces over and over.  But guess what?  Almost no one noticed!

When I figured out that people weren't thinking about me or judging me as much as I had imagined, I started wondering how many other things I did or chose based on what I thought other people were thinking.  I could finally do what was best for me, and stop worrying about other people's opinions or expectations.

I grew up.

Today, I have more confidence in who I am rather than in what I wear.  It's finally about what's inside, instead of a glossy outside.

7 tips and guidelines to start

1.  Be practical.

If it's going to be raining or snowing for most of the next month or two, you need a different capsule wardrobe than if it's going to be in the 90s for most of that time.  If you know you'll be going to a wedding or the opera, you'll want to include something appropriate to wear (although you could wear the same outfit to both events).

2.  Make a list.

This is a great suggestion from author Courtney Carver.*  Instead of just throwing open your closet door to yank everything out, start your capsule wardrobe on paper.  List wearable bottoms, tops, shoes, accessories, loungewear, and outerwear.  If you do it from memory, what comes to mind first will be your favorites.  You should build your wardrobe around them.

* This blog is powered by reader support.  If you buy through my links, I may earn a small commission.

3.  Pull your items.

Use your list to pull the items you chose from memory.  If you notice some things in your closet that you forgot, or if you need a few more items to make complete outfits, pull those things too.  Then box everything else up or move it into a spare closet.  Clean your space, and replace your chosen items.

You're not going to make decisions about keeping, donating, or selling the extra pieces yet.  You're going to live with your smaller wardrobe for a week, a month, or longer.  This is an experiment and a learning experience, so don't worry that you're getting rid of too much.

4.  Let go of perfectionism.

"Perfect" doesn't exist, so stop obsessing about whether you made the perfect choices.  You can adjust as necessary.  Set boundaries, but don't turn this into martyrdom.  If you spill chocolate on your favorite shirt, of course you can buy a replacement.  If you're surprised by weather or something else, add what you need.

5.  Don't think about clothes for the duration of your experiment.

You have everything you need.  You even have extra stuff in a box or another closet, so it's not necessary to think about shopping, sales, who wore what on TikTok, or anything else.  Now you can put all of those thoughts, energy, and resources into things you really care about.

6.  Find better ways to give yourself a boost.

I realize that shopping is one way we soothe our emotions or add a bit of excitement to humdrum days.  That quick burst of dopamine is a real thing, and because it's pleasurable we want to repeat it.  But there are plenty of other ways to increase dopamine without buying something you don't need.  Sunshine, exercise, coffee, and music are just some of the tools that can help.

7.  Invite a friend.

Ask someone you enjoy doing fun things with to try a simpler wardrobe too, and send them a link to this article.  You can trade tips and create accountability, and since they're not emotionally attached to your clothes, they can even help you choose your best pieces, if you like.

It's all good.

When I first began exploring minimalism, I knew I felt stressed and overwhelmed.  There was stress in our budget (we were living on one teacher's salary while I stayed at home with our children).  I felt stress about keeping up with the laundry, groceries, cooking, and toys.  I felt stressed because I had too many volunteer commitments.  But stress in my wardrobe?  I thought that shopping for clothes (and accessories) reduced stress.

When I finally got around to experimenting with a smaller wardrobe, I learned that my shopping was contributing to clutter, laundry, and debt.  Not to mention the fact that searching for clothes that fit and flattered took time and energy I didn't have, and usually wound up making me feel ugly and unlovable.

Most importantly, I learned that I was often designing my life to please others, and that most of those people weren't paying as much attention to me as I thought they were.  Dressing with less helped me learn about myself, and contributed to my sense of purpose and self-confidence.

I'm sure it can do the same for you.

If you enjoyed this article, I know you'll like my newest book, Goodbye, Clutter: Say Hello to the Freedom of Minimalism.  The true beauty of a decluttered home (and wardrobe) is that what remains will reflect the best parts of you.  The things you choose to keep will be the most useful, suitable, and highest quality items – your treasures.

Let this book inspire you and give you the practical advise you need to say goodbye to clutter and hello to the freedom of owning less.