Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I used to buy clothes every week or two, even if I didn't technically need anything new.  Why?  I was hoping to look cuter, more stylish, or more professional.  Thinner, and more fun.  Or maybe more serious! Whatever my hopes, I always felt I had something to prove.  I was trying to create a persona, because I definitely didn't believe that I could be accepted and loved at face value.  I used my wardrobe to create a look that others would like. That's why I pity celebrities.  They're always trying to create a look that entices others.  We look at them, judge them, and maybe try to emulate what they're doing.  It's sad, really, because they can never just be themselves.  They can't even age normally. So even when I was pregnant, even after I had two children and my body was changed forever and clothes that fit me became harder to find, I bought new stuff all the time.  Eventually, I bought fewer clothes, because it was too frustratin...

A big change may be what you need, what you crave, and what you dream of – but maybe you don't see how it can happen today, this weekend, or even by the end of this year.  But if you want to find more satisfaction today, it's possible. 4 practices for more fulfillment 1.  Get present. When we're overwhelmed by possessions or a to-do list, worry and fear distract us from what we want to focus on.  Our attention is diverted by worry about all the other things we have to do, and fear that we'll never accomplish what needs to be done, or what we really dream of doing. This anxiety is the result of "future thinking," and the antidote is to be in the present.  If this is very different from your usual behavior, take it slowly at first.  Set a timer for 10 minutes and just focus on what you're doing or experiencing right now.  If 10 minutes is too long, try five.  You can even state your intention out loud:  "Right now, I'm doing this, and I'm giving...

Decluttering might feel like the hugest, most difficult job you must tackle in order to achieve the simple life you crave.  But is it really necessary?  Is it possible to design a simpler life even if you remain surrounded by clutter? Here's the truth:  Clutter is an obstacle to a life of value and focus.  It's a thief that gets in the way of all that really matters. Clutter steals your attention from more important things. Clutter steals your time when you have to search for the belongings you need. Clutter steals your effectiveness, because it makes every task harder.  Clutter steals your comfort when you want space to think or relax. Clutter steals your money when you add to it, maintain it, or insure it. Clutter steals your purpose, because it makes you feel trapped and futile. Clutter steals your joy, because clutter both manifests depression and causes it . Decluttering literally removes these barriers and clears your path to a simpler life, which is why d...

"I could never be a minimalist." Nine times out of 10, this is what people say when I tell them what I write about.  "I could never give up my _____."  "It would just be too hard."  "I wouldn't want to limit myself." But here's the truth we hide from:  We're all minimizing something, whether we realize it or not. We're already limited. Every day, we make choices about how we'll spend our time, energy, money, attention, talents, affections, and more.  These important assets are all finite.  Even the richest or most talented person has a limit on his or her time and attention.  No one can have or do everything. So every day, we have to decide how we're going to use these precious resources.  And every choice is a trade-off.  If I say yes to doing or buying or listening to one thing, I have to say no to something else.  If I choose more possessions, I have to give up something else.  If I choose more work, I can't do some...

Many who try to simplify their lives may find at some point that it's not the clutter that presents the biggest challenge to a peaceful, manageable life with less, but the person they live with.  Living with a packrat can be really frustrating, especially if that person is your life partner, but even if he or she is your college roommate. I get comments and emails from people who want to know how to deal with the situation. I've been trying to declutter, but my husband's/wife's/teenager's/roommate's stuff is driving me crazy!  They're not on board with my quest for a simpler life, and I'm getting frustrated.  How can I live with a packrat? If you're in this situation, decluttering by itself isn't going to add to your peace.  In fact, it might create more tension in your household.  It's important to find ways to deal with the issue. 4 ways to deal with your differences This issue isn't confined to clutter, and it affects a lot of relation...

We say it easily to strangers:  "Oh, sorry, my bad, I misunderstood you."  "Excuse me, I didn't see you.  Sorry." We say it easily to our bosses:  "Sorry, but I'm going to need an extra day for that report because of that other report you asked for.  Let me fill you in on what I have so far." We say it easily to friends for small things:  "Sorry I'm late.  I hope you didn't wait long." Some of us apologize all the time for little or unavoidable things that almost don't need an apology.  But if you're anything like me, there are other times when apologies are difficult.  That's usually when you really have something to apologize for.  When an apology is necessary in order to repair a relationship.  When the apology involves accepting blame (or part of it) for something you did or didn't do. The conditions of love With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's time to think about love, not just for romantic par...

I can't believe it's been 42 years since I met my husband.  We sat next to each other in Sunday school on a cold and rainy day, at a church I was being paid to attend.  (I had been hired to provide special music for the morning service.)  And here we are, married for over four decades, commemorating that first accidental meeting and the one – even more surprising – that occurred the next day . The basis of a long-term relationship isn't flowers or date night, as enjoyable as these are.  Author Erica Bauermeister describes these as "the equivalent of a new color painted on your walls."  And that's pleasant, maybe a little exciting, but it has nothing to do with the sturdy structure of your house. And structure is what you need for longevity. Essential building blocks So what does form a solid structure – the firm foundation, sound frame, and impermeable roof of your relationship?  It's unloading the dishwasher even though it's your partner's turn, ...

Do you ever wonder if you're doing minimalism the "right" way?  Maybe you cleaned out your closets and your junk drawers, got rid of the china cabinet and the extra TVs, but then a few days later you bought some new clothes or books. Or maybe you've streamlined your budget and paid off almost all of your debt, but now you're thinking the money you've put into your emergency savings account could pay for your dream trip to New Zealand. And maybe you stay home with your family most week nights, and you've cut your involvement in extra meetings and activities that no longer excite you, but each weekend seems to have a church responsibility, another job you want to finish in your fixer-upper home, and/or a get-together of some kind. Are you really a minimalist? What minimalism is Minimalism isn't about getting rid of everything you own or living like a monk in a cave.  It's about getting back to basics, keeping only what you need, use, and love, and en...