7 Ways to Feel Holiday Joy, Absolutely Free!

I made a trip to Target today, just for toothpaste, hand cream, toilet paper, and a roll of Christmas wrapping paper.  What a madhouse it was!  The long, long lines, the carts piled high, and – most of all – the tired faces.  I didn't see a lot of holiday happiness.  Oh, a few people were trying, but most just wanted to get their shopping done and one more thing crossed off the to-do list.

Full disclosure:  Yes, I am giving Christmas presents.  I bought one toy each that I hope my grandsons will enjoy, plus some books for them, plus some lovely candles and local pistachios for a few neighbors and some of my husband Jon's colleagues.  Amazon and a couple of small, local businesses met my needs.  I'm still mulling over what to give my mother-in-law, so I'm not knocking shopping.

What I'm noticing is the plodding, desperate nature of it – the apparent lack of happiness in what has become a series of extra chores and activities that "must" be done in time for Christmas.

Glitter and grief

I know that some of us are legitimately sad at this time of year, whether because we're reminded of those we've lost, or because some difficult life circumstances seem harder to bear when the lights, color, and piped-in songs of the holiday are the opposite of how we truly feel.

Maybe that blue feeling – that lack of purpose, connection, and joy – is more pervasive than we like to admit.  When the holidays become all about food, drink, crowds, and a few minutes of gift-opening frenzy on December 25th, they might not meet our desire for transcendence.  Maybe we long for something more, something magical, something we used to feel but no longer do.

Here's the good news:  Some of the best ways to reduce stress and raise our spirits are available any time, and for no cost.  Perhaps one or more of these will open the door to a brighter, more joyful season for you.

Less cost/more joy activities

1.  Connect with nature.

One thing that modern life – fast-paced, online, invasive modern life – deprives us of is time outdoors in nature.  I don't mean fitness regimens and organized athletics.  Give yourself time outside to walk, look, listen, smell, touch, and sit.  Even on a snowy or rainy day, bundle up and get outside just for a few minutes.  Breathe deeply, watch and listen for birds, really look at the sky, feel the sun or wind, pick up a stone, lean against a tree, inhale the scent of old leaves or fresh pine needles.  We need nature, and it will fill us with peace and new energy.

2.  Start a gratitude practice.

Gratitude will always make your heart soar, because it shifts your focus from what's missing to what's present, and from what's a problem to what's going right.

Make this so simple you can do it every day:

• Grab a small journal* and write down three things you're grateful for, from nice weather and good food to new opportunities and happy memories.  Do this every morning and/or evening, and notice how much more hope and energy you feel after just one week.

• Say "thank you" to anyone who does anything for you, no matter how small.  Look them in the eyes.

• Write one short note, email, or text to someone you appreciate.  You could even carry Post-its or tiny notecards with you so you can do this as inspiration strikes.

* This blog is reader-supported.  If you buy through my links, I may earn a small commission at no charge to you.

3.  Get spiritual.

Whether you attend a church service, pray, meditate, read a spiritual book, or even celebrate the winter solstice, putting an emphasis on your faith will fill you with hope and peace.  Whether you're worried about the problems of today or the possibilities of the future, a regular spiritual practice will ground and inspire you.

4.  Give your time.

St. Francis of Assisi said it best:  "It is in giving that we receive."  We've all been taught to help others and to share unselfishly, but with modern fMRI technology it's been proved that helping others activates the same parts of the brain that are stimulated by food and sex.  Altruism is actually pleasurable for humans.

Volunteering connects you to others and strengthens relationships.  This in turn relieves stress and depression.  It provides a sense of accomplishment, which will bolster your feelings of self-worth.  Helping another person can take your mind off your own worries and provide meaning and purpose.  Being generous will actually increase your own health and happiness!  It's a win-win situation.

5.  Watch or talk to young children.

As I push my 2.5-year-old grandson Liam on a swing in the park, his giggling is non-stop.  My two older grandsons are playing some sort of game as they climb, slide, and chase each other around a large play structure nearby.  Their energy and innocence never fail to cheer me up.

If you can, visit your library during the pre-school story time or sit in on a children's music or dance class.  Their interest and joy will rejuvenate you.

You could even offer to babysit for a neighbor or friend so they can shop for an hour or two without their children.

6.  Make time for hobbies.

Doing something just for pleasure is relaxing and fun.  You could cut paper snowflakes or do a little coloring.  If you enjoy baking, go ahead and make your gorgeous cakes and cookies, and enjoy the "oohs" and "aahs" that come your way.  If you love to knit or crochet, make several simple scarves to share with friends (or even the homeless).  Do you whittle?  My grandfather used to make whistles and little animals using a Swiss Army knife and twigs he'd find in the yard.  Or maybe you'd rather improvise on your piano or guitar.  Any of these would make a wonderful respite from daily pressures.

7.  Bond with family and friends.

Conversation, a walk in the park, looking at old photos, playing a card game, or sharing stories and laughter can remind you that you're blessed with people you care about who care about you.  This truly is the greatest treasure you could ever possess.  Don't let your errand list or the pursuit of new stuff keep you from connecting with those you love.

More of what matters

Isn't the essence of this holiday joy?  Peace?  Kindness?  It's surely not busyness, shopping, or stress.  These seven free activities will bring you closer to what matters, and that will definitely make you happier.

P.S.  I know you'll enjoy reading my friend Carol Craig's musings about holiday pie.