How to Enjoy More Success with the "Good Enough" Mentality

There's a common mindset in our culture that if you're not Number One, you're nothing.  If you aren't First, or Most, or Best, you might as well not bother.  If you don't win that medal, you might as well go home. 

This mentality is toxic.

• It can keep us from trying or doing something unless we believe we can do it to an "ultra" level.
• It can make us demanding perfectionists who never rest or accept any limitations.
• It can make the things we do with love, but without virtuosity, seem worthless.

In fact, it can make us feel worthless.  It can dishearten our kids, if they're so unfortunate as to encounter a teacher, coach, or mentor who subscribes to this idea.

What if we shifted our mindset?  What if we celebrated the attempt, or a result that's "good enough," without continuing to push for the ultimate, ideal performance?

Accepting "good enough"

I'm a long-time performer of mostly classical music: a singer of opera, oratorio, American standards, and show tunes.  All of my teachers and coaches have encouraged me to work hard and develop my God-given talents, and I've had many opportunities to use them.

When I get on stage, of course I want to perform the best I'm capable of.  But I think there's a difference between wanting to achieve my personal best and needing to be The Best.  I accepted long ago that I have neither the temperament nor the talent for a full-time performing career.

Now, the knowledge that I would never have a place among world-renowned (or even regionally-renowned) singers could have crushed me and made me never want to sing again.  Acknowledging that my talent and skill are middle-of-the-road could have made me not just bitter and jealous, but unwilling to try anything else.

I could have kept pushing, paying for lessons, trying yet another teacher or music conservatory, making my whole life about chasing that elusive Number One spot, never happy or satisfied until I attained it, simply because someone once told me I have a beautiful voice.  And when I reached the age of 30, 40, 50, or older, having never achieved renown as a singer and never having bothered to try doing something else, I could simply blame my parents, my teachers, and/or my circumstances for my "failure."  All because I had to Go Big, or go home.

Instead, isn't it better that I decided to do something else instead?  I continued to sing because I enjoyed the challenge and the artistry.  I had a lot of fun, developed my voice as much as I was able, and sang some truly lovely concerts and roles.  And since singing didn't dominate and control my life, I also married, taught elementary school, raised children, directed church choirs, worked as a bookkeeper, tutored adult English language learners, became a grandmother, and have blogged for six years and written and published more than a dozen books.

All because I accepted "good enough" instead of demanding Awesome.

Understanding "good enough"

The "good enough" mentality isn't about settling for mediocrity.  Instead, it's about understanding that effort and progress are more valuable than perfection.  It's about appreciating the journey instead of exalting the end.  It's about savoring the steps rather than obsessing about the outcome.

Imagine that you've decided to completely declutter your home.  You've decided you're going to declutter for a half-hour every day, plus an extra hour on the weekend, until you're done.  However, due to various reasons – perhaps work commitments, family responsibilities, a vacation, or something else – you fail to meet this target.  Do you abandon your goal because you're not keeping to your ambitious schedule, or do you adjust it to something you can achieve, such as 10 minutes in the evening after the kids are in bed on school nights?

This doesn't mean you're lazy or uncommitted.  It means you're adaptable and realistic about what you're actually capable of.  You recognize that even small steps in the right direction represent progress.

Related article:  Why Decluttering Even a Little Can Make Such a Big Difference

The power of "good enough"

When we set Everest-high standards for ourselves, the pressure may be so great that we never even make the attempt.  Or like the 19th century pianist Robert Schumann, we may push ourselves so hard that we do permanent damage and reduce our ability to perform at all.  (His disabled right hand forced him to turn toward composing, for which he is justly acclaimed.)  But by setting more realistic, attainable goals, we remove the barrier of perfection, and open up possibilities we might not have noticed before.

Aiming for 5,000 steps instead of 10,000, or limiting desserts to the weekend instead of banishing them all forever, might be attainable goals that move you in the right direction, even if they're less than the goal someone else thinks you should achieve.

Enjoy these benefits when you decide to aim for "good enough":

• Less stress.  Removing the pressure of perfection can reduce anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

• More consistency.  Smaller, achievable goals are easier to stick with in the long run.

• More satisfaction.  Meeting those smaller goals provides a sense of personal value and accomplishment.

• More adaptability.  If circumstances or opportunities change, you have the freedom to change with them.

• More success.  Since you're not aiming for the highest heights, you can celebrate small attainments and improvements along the way.

The beauty of the "good enough" mindset is that it not only reduces the tyranny of supremely high expectations, but it's wonderfully adjustable.  If you find yourself able to do more than you were, you can always scale up and work toward a greater challenge.  Or you can decide that what you've accomplished is "good enough," and set your sights on something altogether different.

Remember that the cultural push to be The Best labels everyone else a "loser."  You don't have to accept that!  Ignore the race to the top that makes every other outcome unacceptable, and find satisfaction and success by focusing on a journey toward personal growth and development.