12 Tips to Try When You're Frustrated with Decluttering

I won't sugar-coat it – decluttering is a hard job.  The more you're stressed and challenged by your home – the more you need the benefits that come with decluttering – the bigger the job probably is.  The advantages are real, but so is the frustration.  At times, you may feel tired, sad, or overwhelmed.  Letting go of stuff requires constant decision-making, and sometimes you'll need a break.

And you deserve one!  You're not just decluttering, you're in the process of changing your mindset and your habits, and that's hard for anyone.  So when you feel like the job is too big, or that you should have everything under control, remember that no one has it all under control.  We're human, which means that we often have to learn the hard way.  But the victory will be even sweeter because you made it through the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

When you feel like giving up, on decluttering or anything else, be gentle with yourself, and say goodbye to the guilt, anger, sadness, and regret that may surface as you release your stuff.

Try these ideas when the going gets tough.

1.  Flip your thoughts.

Instead of focusing on everything you're getting rid of, think about what you want to keep.  Notice what matters to you.  Use the good towels, wear your favorite things, and enjoy your special belongings.  Let go of the rest.

2.  Stop filling the spaces.

Almost very time I've moved, I've wanted to hang all of my art and get furniture and trinkets in place as soon as possible.  I've simply transplanted everything from the old home to the new one.

But moving provides a blank slate and a chance to wait and see what you really want.  Every time I rushed to fill the spaces, I didn't give myself a chance to be patient and see what would unfold.

As you declutter items, resist that inner voice that cries, "Oh no, that looks empty!  I need to fill it!"  Even if it's uncomfortable, wait.  Instead of filling the space just because you're "supposed to," live with it.  Wait until you know what you want to do with the space.  You'll figure it out.

3.  Remember that more was never satisfying.

In the past, the more I had, the more I wanted.  Thinking that something new and different would make me happy, I was discontented and in debt.  Owning less, choosing from less, and managing less helped me become grateful, and that changed everything!

Today, when I feel bored or stressed, I remember that I was never able to buy myself out of those feelings for long, even though I tried.  What works is finding something to do, talking to a friend, getting outside, or listening to music.

4.  Speaking of music... add it.

It's hard to hate decluttering when "Rosanna" by Toto is playing in the background!  Music changes your mood and shifts your inner dialog.  Instead of listening to your doubts and self-criticism, listen to your favorite tunes (Bach always cheers me up).  Create playlists for decluttering, from 10 minutes to an hour, or whatever you have time and energy for.

Love music?  Please listen to this new bluegrass song

created by my reader, Carla Padgett and her friends!

(She sings backup vocals and plays the fiddle.)

They're using the song to bring awareness and solicit donations

for those devastated by Hurricane Helene in North Carolina.

Listen here and please give if you can.  

5.  Make space for yourself.

If you keep adding to your stuff, and hang on to all of it, there won't be space in your home for you or your family.  There won't be room for your life.  If you want room for your favorite things, get rid of the not-so-favorite.  If you want time and energy and money for relationships or adventures, stop spending it on tending to your stuff.  Make space so you have room to love, create, and celebrate.

6.  Make it easier to decide.

One of the hardest things to do when decluttering is deciding what to do with all of your stuff.  Instead of getting bogged down by deciding about each thing individually, make a rule for yourself.

For example, if you're also trying to get out of debt, you might want to sell as much as possible.  But you don't want to be overwhelmed with yard sales, online ads, and all the follow-up.  You could decide to sell anything you think will go for $25, $50, or more, and donate all the rest.

Or you might determine that it's not worth the time and energy to sell, in which case you can donate everything.  It's the quickest way to get the stuff out of your house.  Some people put everything outside, take a picture, post an ad that says "Free Stuff," and watch it disappear.

7.  Turn it into a game.

Everything's more fun if you can play.  Turn decluttering into a game, challenge, or experiment, and it won't seem like such a chore.  Play with one or more friends and see what you can accomplish with The Mins Game, a scavenger hunt, or a one-hour decluttering dare that can help you let go of 100 items (or more) in one burst.

8.  Try timeboxing.

Instead of focusing on how big the decluttering task is, focus on time.  Set an alarm for a work period (say 15 to 25 minutes), and do as much as you can before the alarm goes off.  Then take a short break (5 minutes) for stretching, getting a drink of water, checking texts, or just sitting quietly.  Repeat if you can.

Timeboxing works because you're breaking the job into small chunks, which helps you feel less overwhelmed.  You enjoy success at each stage, instead of deferring until the entire project is finished.  And each time you come back to the task, you have renewed energy and focus.

9.  Set a boundary.

Setting a limit can help you declutter until you reach a manageable number of items.  For example, you might decide to keep your four favorite pairs of jeans, and remove the rest.  Maybe you decide that two sets of sheets for each bed is ample, and the excess can go.  You might keep tools and supplies for just two favorite hobbies, and even limit those items to one bin per pastime.

Whether choosing just three favorite photos to place on top of the piano, or opting to keep just one box of holiday decorations, remember that you're not depriving yourself.  A boundary lets you focus on quality and function.  You can get excited about keeping the best while removing the rest.

10.  Turn guilt to gratitude.

If you struggle with guilt about letting go, money spent, or time wasted, shift your thoughts toward gratitude.  If you're thinking, "I shouldn't have spent that money," think "I'm grateful that I have enough."

Recognize that you've already received value from the item – you used it for some time – or that it no longer has value for you – it's been in storage for some time.  Either way, you can give thanks for whatever the item meant in the past, and give up guilt about removing it today.

11.  Consider what you're leaving behind.

When people remember me, I don't want them to talk about my outfits, my décor, or my many well-organized (but packed full) containers.  When people I love are grieving for me, I don't want them to have to dig through or make decisions about things I never really cared about.  I don't want my legacy to be a house full of stuff, but rather my humor, my kindness, and the positive ways I affected those around me.

12.  Remember rewards.

Don't wait until your home is completely decluttered, but do something positive for yourself after each decluttering session or project.  Celebrating along the way will make you excited for the next celebration!

This can be very simple:

• Sit down with a restorative cup of a favorite beverage.
• Put on your favorite music and dance.
• Ask your partner for a neck massage.
• Call a friend to share your victory.
• Read a chapter of a good book.
• Savor a small portion of your favorite snack.
• Post a picture of your success.
• If you've decluttered your kitchen, host a small dinner party.
• If you've decluttered the living room, plan a family movie night.
• Simply relax in your newly decluttered space.

The road to success

Whether decluttering frustration is the result of guilt, perfectionism, or because you have no idea how long the entire job will take, give these 12 tips a try.  You deserve relief, support, and a peaceful, clutter-free home.  Don't forget that small progress is still progress, and you're making it happen!

Wanting more inspiration for your decluttering journey and a simpler life?  Look for my Minimalist Basics Omnibus Edition, with three short books in one.  It's got the practical strategies, experiments, and inspirations you need.*

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