What If This Year is Your Last?

I think it's a positive choice to remember our mortality.  It may not be something we think about every day, but it shouldn't be something we ignore completely.  It's not only an inevitable part of life, it's part of what gives life meaning.  As Brad Pitt (as Achilles) says in the movie Troy,*

The gods envy us.  They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last.  Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.

I'm getting ready to celebrate a birthday, and this is a question I want to contemplate.  It seems particularly apropos since I had emergency surgery in February, and have had pneumonia twice.  This has not been a healthy year for me.

It's easy to forget the value of even one day, especially in a world that's always in a hurry and full of distractions.  But we could decide to approach each day as the gift it is, with the realization that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow. 

What if I knew this year was my last?

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Being mindful

I think if we knew our lives would end in just one year, we'd pay more attention to everything.  Instead of going through our days on auto-pilot, as I and so many are often guilty of, we'd notice sights, sounds, scents, tastes, and tactile experiences more.  We'd find ourselves wanting to savor these things while we can, instead of taking them for granted.  Who wants to miss what might be their last chance to see autumn leaves, listen to a thunderstorm, inhale the scent of an apple barn, taste a juicy ripe pear, or feel the soft coziness of a favorite sweater?

My life probably won't end this year.  It could, but it probably won't.  But even so, other things change or come to an end.  People age, get married, move away, retire, or get a serious medical diagnosis.  Milestones come and go, and what had become "normal" changes in the blink of an eye.  So it's time to ask yourself, "What if this is my last year?  Is there something I want to do, or do differently?"

If this is your last year, what do you want to do?

• Buy a new car?  Maybe you do need a more reliable car to get through your last year.  But would you choose the most expensive model you can get a loan for, or buy something more modest that can be paid off?  Perhaps you've always wanted a luxury vehicle, and now would be the time to treat yourself.  Or maybe you've put off an expensive trip, and that's what you'd choose instead.  Whatever you decide, you'd want to make it worth your while.

• Remodel your kitchen?  Yes, it's fun and exciting to keep up with trends, and redoing the kitchen might increase the resale value of your home.  But if you have just one year to live, is the visual appeal of your kitchen worth the money, time, and inconvenience you'll spend?

• Spend extra hours at work?  Hard work is important, but when it robs us of time with family and friends, we might want to reassess.

• Binge watch another series on Netflix?  Yes, it's nice to relax with a movie or video game, especially if you're sharing it with a loved one.  But at some point this would become wasted time, and you'd want to replace it with more valuable activities.

• Spend time on social media?  Social media can eat tons of time.  And while I've seen social media tributes to people who have passed away, I haven't seen anyone who spent time updating their status during their last weeks of life.  Something tells me there are much more important matters to care for.

• Shop at every sale?  Advertisers will continue luring you in with sales, coupons, and special offers.  Do you want to spend your time and money shopping for things you don't need (and adding them to the pile of things your heirs have to dispose of), or would you rather do something more meaningful?

• Have stupid arguments?  Disagreements are part of life, but how many of them really matter?  If this was your final year of life, how many arguments would seem petty and ridiculous?  Wouldn't you rather cultivate understanding and harmony?

• Postpone apologies and forgiveness?  Holding on to grudges and resentments seems pointless when you realize the shortness of life.  I think I'd rather make the first move toward reconciliation.

Better choices

If this is my last year of life, I want to prioritize my closest relationships.  I want to spend my time and talents on a project that will outlast me and do some good for others.  I want to give generously to causes I care about, and stay out of debt.  I want to keep a journal of the beautiful things in my life that I'm grateful for.  And I want to have all of my paperwork and affairs in order, and my house rid of clutter so my kids don't have to deal with any of that when I'm gone.

Maybe the real question is this:  If these are the activities I want to focus on in my last year of life because I think they'll create the most fulfilling end possible, shouldn't I be doing them already?  Why wait until the end, since I don't know when that will be?  I could make my life more satisfying right now.

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