Stop Competing and Comparing and Start Collaborating and Encouraging

I'll admit, I've spent most of my life competing against others rather than encouraging them.  Success has always been important to me, and was important to my parents.  My desire to be the best often caused me to tear others down instead of building them up.  That was wrong of me, and I'm sure I missed out on some valuable friendships because of it.  Learning to collaborate and encourage at an early age would have benefitted not just my rivals, but me too.

The mindset of competition assumes there's a finite amount of success – that one person's accomplishment means there's less opportunity for me.  That thinking is wrong.  There's probably no limit to the good and valuable things that can be achieved.

Cooperation begins where competition leaves off.

Of course, sometimes there is only one winner.  There's only one first place and one gold medal.  If you're competing for a scholarship or a coveted job, there's only one opportunity to get what you want at that particular time.  This truth is what causes us to compete and compare.

It's also true that competition can spur us to do our absolute best, and can keep us on course even when we face obstacles.  The desire to be exceptional might help us accomplish more than we (or others) thought we were capable of.

However, there's something wrong with a society that treats silver medal winners, or, God forbid, the people who wind up in the #4 position in the world, as losers.  That negates every bit of hard work, talent, discipline, dedication, learning, practice, long hours, triumph over errors, and everything else that has gone into that person's performance.

And we're mistaken if we think competition is the only way to bring the best out of an individual.  Sincere compliments, encouragement, information, demonstration, and mentorship are certainly responsible for most success stories.

On the same team

I've never run a marathon, but apparently marathon runners are really good at encouraging each other.  The feeling is that there's room at the finish line for everyone, and anyone who undertakes this arduous challenge and sees it to completion should be congratulated.

I've never run a marathon, but I have taken part in many theater productions – plays, musicals, and operas.  Of course I've competed with others to get the roles I wanted, but once the work is cast, everyone – from the director and stars to the supporting performers and the stage crew – joins forces to create the best possible experience.  No matter how great a singer, dancer, or actor you are, no dazzling performance happens without the collaboration and encouragement of every member of the company.

Try some of these ideas to work well with any team:

• Refuse to speak negatively about anyone (even behind closed doors).
• Promote other people's success stories and tell how much they have impacted you.
• Compete with yourself.  Are you better at _______ than you were yesterday, last month, last year?
• Share your knowledge and ideas.  Your generosity will always come back to you.
• Ask others how you can help.
• Use cards, notes, phone calls, emails, texts, even social media to encourage others.
• Attend and in other ways give your support to community events.

Those of us seeking a simpler, more satisfying life can learn a lot from marathon runners and stage performers.  We can learn that our achievements will be even more awesome if, instead of seeking to be the king or queen of the mountain, we help everyone in our orbit climb as high as possible.  The joyful camaraderie you gain will improve your life far more than the loneliness (and transience) of being #1.

No one can whistle a symphony.  It takes a whole orchestra to play it.

Halford Edward Luccock

Related article: How to Recover from Winning

I've been preparing hardcover editions of some of my highest-selling books, with the idea that you might like a nicer, giftable copy for yourself or someone you care about.  I've already mentioned the new hardcovers of Simple Money and The Minimalist Wardrobe, but I've also created an omnibus edition* of some of the Minimalist Basics titles.  Decluttering: The Simple Guide from A to Z, Minimalism 1-2-3, and The Minimalist Experiment are all together "under one roof," and make a great introduction to the concept and lifestyle of minimalism.

I've seen and held the hardcover copies, and they're really beautiful.  I think you'll like them!  Look for paperback and e-book versions of Minimalist Basics: The Omnibus Edition soon.

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