Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I'll admit, I've spent most of my life competing against others rather than encouraging them.  Success has always been important to me, and was important to my parents.  My desire to be the best often caused me to tear others down instead of building them up.  That was wrong of me, and I'm sure I missed out on some valuable friendships because of it.  Learning to collaborate and encourage at an early age would have benefitted not just my rivals, but me too. The mindset of competition assumes there's a finite amount of success – that one person's accomplishment means there's less opportunity for me.  That thinking is wrong.  There's probably no limit to the good and valuable things that can be achieved. Cooperation begins where competition leaves off. Of course, sometimes there is only one winner.  There's only one first place and one gold medal.  If you're competing for a scholarship or a coveted job, there's only one opportunity to get what you ...

A confidence boost can take many forms.  A new outfit or a new hairstyle can make you feel attractive and put together.  Getting a promotion at work makes you feel appreciated and successful.  Accomplishing a goal, such as completing a 10K race, writing the first draft of your book, or mastering a new cooking technique can make you feel not only satisfied, but powerful . This isn't about developing an over-inflated ego or becoming a narcissist.  To be happy, we need to feel useful and knowledgeable and believe that we'll be able to cope with our lives. How compliments help A lot of us give compliments as a way to be sociable and supportive to friends, co-workers, or even strangers.  And many parents are convinced that their children's self-esteem hinges on receiving plenty of compliments and rewards just for showing up.  Yet too often we don't make enough of an effort to compliment other people close to us, such as spouses, siblings, or parents. It's true ...

Hygge (pronounced "hoo-gah") became popular a few years ago among decorators and lifestyle influencers.  Because our society is capitalist, this meant an opportunity for sales!  So hygge blankets, candles, slippers, cardigans, cookbooks, and even a hygge game came on the market. Everyone wants to be relaxed and comfortable at home, which is the appeal of hygge.  The thing is – you can't buy it .  Hygge is minimalist in that it doesn't require a bunch of props.  As author Louisa Thomsen Brits describes it, Hygge happens when we commit to the pleasure of the present moment in its simplicity.  It's there in the things we do that give everyday life value and meaning, that comfort us, make us feel at home, rooted and generous. We're at odds with nature's rhythm. Autumn is when nature slows down.  Temperatures dip, leaves start to turn, the growing season has finished and harvest begins.  Yet our tempo often speeds up as school starts and children get ...

Do you ever drive down the highway or out on a country road and see someone's old couch or mattress?  When driving through the orchards and croplands around my town, I sometimes see stuff like this in an irrigation ditch.  I can't believe people do this, and leave it for the farmers to clean up or pay for disposal. Tossing stuff you no longer need or want into a dumpster isn't minimalism – it's the equivalent of littering , just like the people who throw things out on the side of the road.  It may seem simple, but it's not responsible or good for the environment. Unfortunately, some of what we remove from our homes is garbage , and there's no place for it but the landfill.  But when getting rid of clutter means mindlessly tossing it into the garbage, it becomes too easy to buy more and fill our homes up all over again.   By becoming more accountable, we change our minds about purchasing.  I believe that when you thoughtfully declutter, you'll become ve...

Humans are meant to be creative.  By pushing boundaries, breaking new ground, and developing inventive ideas and techniques, we've adapted and survived through the ages.  Creativity makes us responsive and resilient, and it feeds our souls. But what if you feel like you're in a creative rut?  What if you're too busy to do anything creative?  We've all been there, and these tips can help you flex your creativity once again. Practices that jumpstart creativity 1.  Change your environment. We can get locked into thinking the same way when we're in the same surroundings day by day.  My house is the same, my neighborhood and workspace haven't changed – how can I shake myself out of feeling bored with the same old stuff? Rearrange your house or your workspace.   Change around pictures, plants, even furniture for a "new" look. Add a new scent.   Try a new candle or reed diffuser.  Run a cut-up lemon through your garbage disposal.  Place a bouqu...

I think it's a positive choice to remember our mortality.  It may not be something we think about every day, but it shouldn't be something we ignore completely.  It's not only an inevitable part of life, it's part of what gives life meaning.  As Brad Pitt (as Achilles) says in the movie Troy ,* The gods envy us.  They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last.  Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. I'm getting ready to celebrate a birthday, and this is a question I want to contemplate.  It seems particularly apropos since I had emergency surgery in February, and have had pneumonia twice.  This has not been a healthy year for me. It's easy to forget the value of even one day , especially in a world that's always in a hurry and full of distractions.  But we could decide to approach each day as the gift it is, with the realization that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  What if I knew this year was my last?...

Can your brain keep you from decluttering?  Maybe.  Mel Robbins explains how in her useful and inspiring book,  The 5 Second Rule .*  It's not specifically about decluttering, but it's an idea that can help you access your intuition.  What it does is stop you from over-thinking any situation. * This blog is reader-supported, with no ads!  If you buy through my links, I may earn a small commission. How our brains work Like other living entities, we're hardwired to do two things – survive and reproduce.  And our brains are designed to help us.  In fact, they're almost too good at that job.  That's because our brains work very hard to keep us safe from danger. As a result, we can find it hard to be daring, creative, innovative, or even just different from the way we usually are.  When we decide to try something new, our brains are excellent at reminding us of all the reasons we should avoid it.  Memories and fears surface that may per...

You may not realize it, but you could be harboring some beliefs that make it difficult (or even impossible) to declutter and stay that way.  These are common mindsets that can hold us back.  If you're struggling to declutter, it's time to identify the thoughts that are making it so hard. Decluttering block #1: I hate tossing things out. I think we can agree that throwing things out feels wasteful and bad.  Especially if your parents or grandparents lived through the Depression or the World War II era, this mindset runs deep.  The urge to keep everything (even things that are broken) will be stronger if you or your family have a history of trauma or hoarding.  You might not even be aware of how strong this inner compulsion is until you start trying to declutter. If you find it hard to get rid of broken, frayed, outgrown, neglected, or otherwise unused things, see if one of these reminders can help: 1.  The reprimand might not be coming from you. Your aversio...

My 2-year-old grandson loves working.  He stacks up blocks so he can knock them down and build them again.  He puts rocks in his toy dump truck so he can tip them out and fill up again.  He puts the pretend food from the play kitchen in his little grocery cart, then lines it up on the sofa so he can "shop" all over again. Of course, he's playing, not working, but what he's emulating is work.  The siren sounds that accompany the toy fire truck are "hurrying to stop the fire."  Even putting stuffed animals down for their "nap" and then waking them up to "feed" them is a copy of the work his mom does. For many of us, however, work isn't something we seem to enjoy.  How many complaints have you (or a coworker) made about Monday morning?  How many times have you wished for (or rejoiced at) Friday afternoon?  How many weekend chores have you complained about?  All of these behaviors are common, and even expected in our culture.  We're n...