9 Practical Steps to a Joyful, Intentional Life

According to the latest Gallup poll, less than half of Americans are "very satisfied" with their own lives.

Whether it reflects worries about the economy, anger about politics, or unhappiness in personal relationships, that number is nearly the lowest it's been this century.

Our quest for fulfillment

From a young age, most of us are pressured to fill our days to the brim.  Join as many clubs as you can and play several sports in school.  Be more productive and push yourself up the ladder at work.  Even at home, the list of chores seems never-ending. 

Yet with all of this aspiration and activity, happiness eludes us.  Too many of us remain anxious and lonely.  Even as we try to grab every opportunity, we add to our stress and dissatisfaction.  Yet we feel guilty about slowing down.

It's clear that our fast-paced lives are doing us no favors.  But choosing to slow down is hard.  In a culture where no one sticks to the speed limit and a slow internet connection is cause for irritation, taking time to rest and reflect can be seen as laziness.  No one wants to be thought of as an underachiever.

So how do we break free of this cycle?  How do we give ourselves permission to put energy and focus on a few activities we care about, while letting the rest go?

9 steps to slower living

1.  Acknowledge your limits.

Free yourself from the illogic of the fear of missing out.  You're finite, your time and energy are finite – you can't possibly do everything!  Neither can anyone else, so you're in good company.

Go ahead and limit the number of meetings or social activities you accept.  Let your child choose one after-school activity, not something for every day.  Then relax about the things you've chosen not to do.

2.  Use a 3-item to-do list.

By limiting the number of tasks you do each day, you learn to prioritize.  What's really important, and what are you doing merely because it's on someone else's agenda?  Even in a busy office with an impatient boss, knowing what's essential insures that better work can be done.

3.  Learn to say no.

I'm a real people-pleaser, so it took me a long time to get this.  But "no" is an answer that sets boundaries.  It's a word that brings clarity.  Instead of letting the quality of all our activities suffer, "no" lets us save our time and energy for projects we really care about.

4.  Reduce time online.

We've all experienced the lure of social media, which sometimes causes us to lose an hour or more just scrolling and clicking.  Try checking email and social media just twice a day, and limit notifications so you won't be distracted.  Those constant interruptions just erode your attention span, making it harder to get anything done.

5.  Plan free time.

It's stressful and exhausting to be constantly on the go, so establish blocks of downtime on your calendar.  This isn't wasted time – it's margin that leaves you fresh and energized for the obligations you choose to undertake.

6.  Find a hobby.

Your free time will be even more rejuvenating if you spend some of it on a creative pursuit that lets you relax and learn.  Rediscover an activity you enjoyed as a child, or explore something new.  Whether it's yoga or gardening, birdwatching or playing the flute, a hobby develops skills, patience, imagination, self-esteem, and more.

7.  Choose quality over quantity.

This is the essence of minimalism – choosing what's valuable while removing what isn't.  Whether it's the blogs you read, the organizations you support, or the hobbies you pursue, opt for things that enrich your life.  Instead of spreading yourself thin with shallow engagements, go deep for more meaning and satisfaction.

8.  Nurture relationships.

Strong relationships are the key to a happier life.  Make sure your people have priority over your goals and your stuff.

9.  Give thanks.

Our constant pursuit of more – whether belongings or achievements – reveals an attitude of scarcity and entitlement.  Instead of appreciating what we already possess, we're busy chasing the next thing.

When we start paying attention to the good things in our lives and giving thanks for them, our sense of completeness grows.  We're less likely to feel covetous or inadequate, and better able to find joy.

Start a gratitude practice, and you'll find it easier to slow down and savor life.

A rich and purposeful life

These nine practices will lead you to a life of greater satisfaction, while enabling you to put your best efforts toward achieving things you really care about.

Do you appreciate my work?  I'd be thankful if you'd buy me a coffee.

In our fast-paced and ever-changing world, hygge is a secret weapon.

The Danish concept of hygge is about much more than being warm and cozy as snow falls outside.  It's a mindset that celebrates the art of slowing down and savoring the everyday pleasures of life.  Hygge can be present in the newness of spring and as life slows down in autumn.  Even on the hottest days of summer, the comforts of hygge are available.  Hygge can mean being with your loved ones or being happy alone.  It can be still and quiet or active and full of fun.

Don't buy into the idea that you have to own all the goodies and climb the highest mountains (real and figurative) to have a valuable life.  A hyggelig mindset can help you see the beauty that's right in front of you today, and my new book, Minimalist Hygge, can be your trusted guide.

Pre-order the Kindle edition of Minimalist Hygge and save 20%!  It will be delivered to your e-device of choice on September 1st, the same day the beautiful paperback edition goes on sale.