Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

There's a common mindset in our culture that if you're not Number One, you're nothing.  If you aren't First, or Most, or Best, you might as well not bother.  If you don't win that medal, you might as well go home.  This mentality is toxic. It can keep us from trying or doing something unless we believe we can do it to an "ultra" level. It can make us demanding perfectionists who never rest or accept any limitations. It can make the things we do with love, but without virtuosity, seem worthless. In fact, it can make us feel worthless.  It can dishearten our kids, if they're so unfortunate as to encounter a teacher, coach, or mentor who subscribes to this idea. What if we shifted our mindset?  What if we celebrated the attempt, or a result that's "good enough," without continuing to push for the ultimate, ideal performance? Accepting "good enough" I'm a long-time performer of mostly classical music: a singer of opera, oratorio

I need to start by saying that I'm not unhappy.  I've been blessed with so many advantages and good circumstances, from birth onward. And it's easy, in a life like mine, with its mix of ups and downs, joys and worries – but nothing too mournful or extreme – to coast along, thinking it will always be that way. Last year, one of my aunts and my last three uncles passed away.  None of their ends was unexpected (they were all in their 80's and 90's).  What was unexpected was my 30-year-old nephew's cancer diagnosis earlier this year and my younger sister's major surgery and cancer scare just a couple of months later. I had pneumonia this February, emergency abdominal surgery in early March, and pneumonia again in May.  Our medical insurance has made a fuss about paying the hospital bill, and the IRS decided to audit our tax return. It's been a season of changes and challenges. Stay tuned in. I mention all of this because most of us are so used to being busy

Dorothy Parker once said that she hated writing, but loved having written.  Now, I love the process of writing, but I can totally get on board with her point of view when it comes to housework.  I dislike most of it, but love having a neat and clean house. So with all of the good results that come from decluttering , why do we have to make it such a chore?  You don't have to be a naturally-neat person to love decluttering, and with these easy and inexpensive tips, you can make the process itself enjoyable. 10 ways to enjoy decluttering 1.  Use entertainment. Upbeat music is a great accompaniment to decluttering because it adds energy and movement.  You can create a playlist or turn on a favorite radio station.  But if music isn't what you're craving, play a watch-it-again movie or TV show in the background, or listen to a podcast or audiobook.  Be sure to choose something that won't distract you to the point that you don't get anything done. 2.  Lighten up. A darken

Have you ever tried decluttering with a child?  You walk into their room, or the family room, or wherever the toys are piled highest, and it's so overwhelming you just feel like dumping the lot. It may be a natural feeling, but you know it would be cruel, and that's not what you want.  You just want some clarity.  You want some peace.  You want some space to walk around without stabbing your foot on a toy! So you pick up something you know your child hasn't actually played with in quite a while.  It's a thing that gets tossed around when she's looking for the thing she really wants.  It's pretty ratty-looking too (unless it's made of plastic, in which case it will look practically brand-new when it's been in the landfill for a century).  Then you ask her the question . It's the question that's going to keep your entire house cluttered. Reasons we keep our stuff We're really good at accumulating, but not so good at getting rid of things.  Tha

You walk into your office and immediately feel stressed and overworked.  Why is that?  Your desk is a mess!  It's covered in folders, papers, old coffee cups, pens (both usable and dead), paperclips, at least two staplers, and a million Post-its. Now, tell me, how can you get any work done?  How can you be productive and focused when you can barely see the top of your desk?  And your computer desktop is crowded with icons and shortcuts too.  They cover the wallpaper photo you chose to make your workspace serene and lovely (it isn't). Did you know that 40% of workers surveyed assume that someone with a messy desk is less than competent at their job?  And 28% of employers say they're less likely to promote someone with a disorganized work space. Decluttering to the rescue!  You can make your desk a place that lets you store and find what you need so you can do your best work.  Not only that, but a clean and tidy space projects a better image of you as an organized, responsib

When my husband and I go for a weekend trip to the Sonoma coast in Northern California, I'm always amazed by how fast a lot of people are driving on Highway 1.  Highway 1 is not meant to be a fast drive.  It's narrow, it's hilly, it winds, and the views are consistently spectacular.  It's a road to savor – not necessarily puttering, but certainly not racing , showing off your car's cornering and suspension or your own stunt driving skills. But my opinion may be in the minority. How do you ignore such rare beauty in favor of covering the miles as fast as possible?  Maybe these are residents of the area – so used to the marvelous vistas they no longer pay attention.  It doesn't seem possible to me.  If I lived there, I'd want to drink in that loveliness every day.  I wouldn't want to lose the magic. Noticing, and not noticing But don't we all get used to what we see every day?  Think about the last time you drove to work or the supermarket.  Did you re

I won't sugar-coat it – decluttering is a hard job.  The more you're stressed and challenged by your home – the more you need the benefits that come with decluttering – the bigger the job probably is.  The advantages are real, but so is the frustration.  At times, you may feel tired, sad, or overwhelmed.  Letting go of stuff requires constant decision-making, and sometimes you'll need a break. And you deserve one!  You're not just decluttering, you're in the process of changing your mindset and your habits , and that's hard for anyone.  So when you feel like the job is too big, or that you should have everything under control, remember that no one has it all under control.  We're human, which means that we often have to learn the hard way.  But the victory will be even sweeter because you made it through the highs, the lows, and everything in between. When you feel like giving up, on decluttering or anything else, be gentle with yourself, and say goodbye to

I have a fear of messiness.  Oh, I don't think it rises to the level of a phobia, but if it did I could tell you its name – ataxophobia .  I don't have panic attacks when confronted with a mess, but I sure don't enjoy it. I do have a need for order in my life, and can get very anxious when confronted with big changes or the need to do a task I don't know how to do.  And like anyone who feels fear and anxiety, it causes me to avoid those things if I can.  Yet when I get up the courage to ask for help, I often find that the task isn't as fearsome as I believed.  So my behavior is kind of irrational, after all. Why we all benefit from tidiness I'm sure that's part of the reason minimalism appeals to me.  Now, you might be braver than I about going new places or tackling new technology, but maybe you suffer from stress in other areas.  Maybe your job is very demanding, or your finances aren't optimal, or you have a relationship in crisis mode.  Maybe you'