Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I've always been a worrier.  As the oldest child, I was never able to follow in anyone's footsteps.  I always felt like I was heading into "unknown territory" alone, with no one to rely on or ask questions of.  Maybe I was being fanciful, but I wound up feeling that I had to anticipate and figure out  everything  ahead of time so I wouldn't mess up.  This belief made me pay attention to details and become a problem-solver, but it also made me a nervous perfectionist.  Once I figured something out, or felt like I was pretty good at something, I clung to that.  I liked feeling that I knew what I was doing.  I was able to live with the fact that there were plenty of things I wasn't any good at as long as I had one or two areas where I felt competent.  And if I wound up being better at something than most of my peers, I let that activity become my focus. That's how I became a musician, specifically a singer.  Being an operatic soprano w...

One of the promises of minimalism is that by choosing to own and do less, we make space for more comfort and calm, and time for the people and activities we really care about.  After all, why bother to declutter and curb shopping and strategically "miss out" on some events if doing so doesn't actually bring the  energy, focus, peace, and contentment  we desire? Minimalism needs to be more than a self-righteous response to greed, thoughtless consumerism, and useless junk.  It needs to be more than a rigid control of the number of things we own or will allow onto our schedules.  Otherwise, minimalism becomes a dismal set of rules.  It becomes an excuse to opt out of life, rather than a way to deeply and intentionally enjoy more of it. That form of miserliness is not what Maximum Gratitude Minimal Stuff is about, as I think you can tell if you've spent much time here.  But we do need our homes to provide a refuge from our always-on, high stress world....

So you've decided to pare back and downsize.  You're in the process of decluttering your life.  Fantastic! Here's the hard truth :  No one wants your prized possessions.  Not even your kids. A different generation Okay, "no one" might be a bit of an exaggeration.  There are probably a few Millennials who would love to have a china hutch or a vintage Ethan Allen bedroom suite.  But May Kay Buysse, executive director of the National Association of Senior Move Managers ( NASMM ) has it right when she says, This is the Ikea and Target Generation.  They don't have the emotional connection to things that earlier generations did.  And they're more mobile.  They don't want a lot of heavy stuff dragging down a move across country for a new opportunity.  Young couples starting out don't want the things that generations before them saw as marks of sophistication and middle class comfort, such as formal china, crystal, and silver.  And they def...

We've all found ourselves packing for a trip, worrying we'll need something, cramming it in .   Then we get back home and realize we used about half of what we packed, but had to carry and keep track of all the rest.  If only we could have lightened the load right from the beginning! That crowded suitcase is a symptom of fear.     Do you know what fear does? It makes us nervous about not having enough for our needs.   It makes us rely on our stuff for security.   It prevents us from being adaptable and creative.   It makes us anxious about losing memories of our loved ones or our past.  It keeps us from reaching out to others, whether to ask for help or to offer it.   Our fears rarely materialize, but we still let them control us.    Fear – not minimalism – narrows our world and makes our life experience poorer. Related article:  The Truth About Clutter What is enough?   Minimalism helps us r...

A faithful person sees life from the perspective of trust, not fear. Bedrock faith allows me to believe that, despite the chaos of the present moment, God does reign; that regardless of how worthless I may feel, I truly matter to a God of love; that no pain lasts forever and no evil triumphs in the end. Faith sees even the darkest deed of all history, the death of God's Son, as a necessary prelude to the brightest. Philip Yancey A very happy Easter to all of you!

Fun to say, but not so fun to live with, FOMO – the Fear of Missing Out – drives many of us toward debt and burnout. We struggle with the fear of missing out on activities, information, opportunities, trends, connection, and many other things.  We struggle to keep up, to be noticed, to be included, to be valued.  FOMO keeps us from looking inward to discover what really matters to us, and pushes us to look outward at peers and influencers, desperate to have what they have and do what they do. FOMO keeps us unhappy and unfulfilled. Are you suffering from FOMO? Do you: say yes when you'd really rather say no? scroll endlessly through social media to see what others are doing and thinking? obsessively check your phone for texts, tweets, and likes? buy things you can't afford to keep up with everyone else? spend your days in a rush? choose popularity and convenience over quality? constantly compare and criticize yourself and others? exhaust yourself (and your family) trying to do ...

My mother was born early in the Great Depression in her grandmother's house.  When it was time to take my newborn mom home, my grandma walked.  She and my grandfather lived only a few steps away. Yes – my mother's first home was her grandparents' barn. It could have been worse.  They didn't live in their car or a shack made of scrap materials.  And they weren't starving.  My grandma and her mother raised a few goats, rabbits, and chickens, and tended a big garden.  My grandfather had seasonal work in the logging industry, but eventually taught himself to drive heavy equipment and found year-round employment as an agricultural land leveler. Believe it or not, there's an upside to being in need.   Scarcity inspires creativity. Several studies reveal that when we have fewer assets, we explore more ways of getting what we want or need.  Many researchers have concluded that in situations of abundance we simply have no incentive to innovate. In other wo...

Have you started to suspect that the pursuit of more possessions is never-ending and can't make you happy? Sure, you experience a bit of short-term excitement when you acquire that new gadget or pair of shoes, but the enjoyment doesn't last.  Before you know it, the new item is no longer new – it's just something you own.  And even if it's useful, using it becomes part of your daily routine.  So when your eye is caught by something "new and improved," your desire shifts, and now  you can't wait to own  that new thing. For most people, this pattern repeats itself until our closets and cupboards are full, there's no room in the garage to park a car, and all our free time is spent servicing our stuff. Minimalists are different. Minimalists realize that a ton of possessions won't necessarily make anyone happy.  In fact, they might  prevent our happiness . Just a sec – let me explain.  I'm not saying we don't benefit from having the items we nee...

I've known for quite a while that I have enough.  I have a full home, a full belly, a 4-year-old reliable car, medical care, life insurance, and plenty of education.  My husband is a tenured teacher with an excellent pension plan.  We have good health, good vision (with glasses), decent hearing, and our minds still work pretty well.  We have a happy, almost 38-year-old marriage and wonderful relationships with our grown children, our son-in-law, and our grandsons. What more could I possibly wish for? And while I realized that I might need a few clothes for the summer (I was down to three short-sleeved tops) and of course food, gasoline, personal care items, haircuts, and the like, I was strongly aware that I had no need to purchase new home décor, kitchenware, tech gadgets, shoes, accessories, or more than two fancy coffee drinks per week. I started my Buy Nothing Year on January 3rd, because I already had  enough . It's been three months. Do you think that soun...