Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I used to have two distinct sets of friends. One set loved to go out on the town.  They spent money constantly.  We went to restaurants and bars just to see and be seen.  We went shopping together, and encouraged each other to buy stuff.  (I got my first credit card because of those friends.)  We never stopped talking about what we wanted to buy, and tried to "one up" each other with new possessions.   It was a competition  that carried a steep financial cost and tied my self-image to what I owned. I also had several friends who did things differently.  Instead of going out, we would get together at each other's apartments, eat potluck or maybe order a pizza, and play board games like Pictionary and Trivial Pursuit .  Instead of going to the movies, we'd hang out and watch a rented video together.  Instead of going to a professional sporting event, we would gather for a softball game in the park. Friendships shouldn't come with a pr...

I've received the first shot of my COVID vaccine, and have an appointment for the second dose.  I imagine many of you have already been vaccinated or are anticipating your opportunity soon.  So – fingers crossed – we may be coming to the end of the COVID era. But not everyone is feeling hopeful.  According to a Pew Research poll conducted this January, 44% of Americans predict it will take at least three years to recover economically from the pandemic.  Approximately 10% believe their financial situation will   never   recover. The gift of clarity Most of us saw significant changes to our spending during the COVID era.  Perhaps we experienced a loss of income, or had less opportunity to spend because of the closure of services and businesses.  Maybe we stopped commuting and paying for child care.  Or maybe we did more online shopping, especially when we felt sad or bored . So much has changed in the past thirteen months, and so many things we...

There's a task I'm avoiding right now.  So far, I've procrastinated for most of a week.  Why?  I'm filled with uncertainty about dealing with it.  It's something I've never done before, and I'm afraid I won't be able to figure it out.  It's an important task that needs to be done, and I'm worried I'll mess it up.  When I even think about tackling it, I get anxious.  I feel the tension in my body – my neck tightens and my pulse speeds up.  So I look for something else to do. I think most of us respond this way to something we don't know.  We desire certainty, so we tend to limit ourselves.  Why step out of the old familiar path that has always worked before?  Why not just stay in that comfortable rut? Uncertainty is the place where we learn. If you think about it, too much certainty is boring .  Who wants to read a book or watch a movie when you're absolutely certain of the outcome?  Even if you have some idea that all will...

For the sake of simplicity, let's put everyone in the world into two groups: First, there are the Naturally Neat.   And then there are the Not Naturally Neat. "Naturally Neat" doesn't guarantee "clutter-free." While the Naturally Neat person may live with a lot of clutter (that is, unused and unloved items that do not contribute to the quality of his life), that clutter is usually organized.  Baskets, bins, shoe bags, spice racks, and elaborate closet systems are essential to this person's home.  There may be a ton of extraneous stuff, but you better believe it has a place to be. When the Naturally Neat person decides to become more minimalist, he may struggle to decide what to keep and what to remove because all of his stuff is "good" and he doesn't want to "waste" it.  However, once he achieves an uncluttered home, he's happy to continue his long-time cleaning routines and other habits to keep his space tidy. The Not Natura...

"But I can't get rid of these souvenir teaspoons!  Dear Aunt Eunice gave them to me!" Have you found yourself holding an object that definitely does not spark joy, but you feel guilty about removing it from your home because it was given to you by a beloved family member or friend?  What can you do? The first step Remember that people are not the things they give you.  The gift is a token of friendship or love, that's all.  The object is a symbol , no more. Now I realize that some symbols, such as wedding rings, convey feelings and promises that are profound.  Of course these belongings are cherished, and their loss would be devastating.  In fact, the choice to get rid of something like this is an emotional and significant statement of its own. But the vast majority of gifts we will receive are not intended to communicate so much, and we don't need to cling to them so tightly.  The teacup Grandma gave you isn't an embodiment of her love. Determine the ...

When I began decluttering I had no idea of the time and effort it would take. I spent many evenings and weekends sorting through stuff I had accumulated in drawers, closets, and dozens of dusty boxes stashed in the garage.  Each item I touched required a decision – what to keep and how to responsibly donate or discard the rest. Every time I released an item, I felt lighter.  Keeping only my most useful and favorite belongings made me appreciate what I kept even more. The essential evolution Decluttering made a huge difference to my life, but it isn't what made the biggest difference .  Instead, a few simple mindset shifts brought me more peace and happiness at home and work – even before I launched my epic decluttering project. Even if you can't start decluttering right now, you can start living more simply. Short on time? Subscribe and receive my free printable The Declutter Dare and declutter 100 items (or more) in just one hour! Do you have a dream? Ima...

I've been procrastinating on a difficult job. This task regarding my late mother's estate is one I've been putting off for a while.  It's going to be complicated, and I'm not sure how to accomplish all of it.  I'm going to have to make a lot of phone calls and probably ask some dumb-sounding questions to get the help I need.   I know it will be a great relief to be done with it, yet I don't start.   Overcome procrastination Has decluttering been on your radar for a while, but you just haven't started?  You know you need and want to do it, but you're busy.  Always busy, and decluttering takes some time.   It's pretty easy to do the "get rid of one item each day" method, but you feel like that will take forever, and you want to see meaningful results soon.  But lack of time, lack of energy, and that must-see TV show keep getting in your way. Maybe these reasons to declutter will give you the motivation you need to get started today. 1...

Are you "super busy?"  It's a pretty common situation.  A lot of us are like hamsters in a wheel, struggling to keep up.  We go for quantity, and miss quality.  We spend time recklessly, even though it's our most precious and non-renewable resource. An essential skill for a happy life "No" is an answer that sets boundaries and lets us thoughtfully choose what is most important. But it's not so easy to say when you were raised to be polite.  Many of us are people-pleasers, and even when something isn't right for us or we're already overloaded with tasks, we struggle to say no.  If we do manage to get the word out, we feel guilty. In part, we can blame our culture, which makes it easy to compare ourselves to others who seem to be accomplishing more than we are.  It's very easy to believe that we just aren't good enough.  So when people ask us for our time, we feel like we have to step up. We can also blame evolution.  Our ancestors survived...

Most of us have habits we'd like to change.  It's why we make New Year's resolutions, look forward to starting a new school year or semester, or even welcome a new season.  It's a chance to start fresh and try to do better. Of course I struggle with bad habits, as we all do.  But like brushing and flossing, washing my hands, and saying "please," I have plenty of positive habits that make my daily life better.   Sometimes it's good to focus on what we're doing right, rather than continually trying to self-improve.  We need to celebrate how far we've come.   10 habits I'm proud of 1.  I read every day. This habit started in first grade and I've maintained it forever after.  I read fiction and non-fiction books, some news, and favorite blogs.  I always encounter food for thought and inspiration.  2.  I write every day. My goal is one sentence, which I can do no matter what else is going on that day, but I usually write much ...