Where Are You, Christmas?

By
I'm having a hard time finding Christmas spirit right now.  Is it simply because of all we've been through this year?  Quarantines, restrictions, shortages, joblessness, acrid politics, and this constantly-spreading disease are enough to bring anyone down.  It seems this situation has dragged on forever, yet it also seems like 2020 is speeding past.  December is here already, and it feels like it's come too soon.


the light of Christmas



That sounds depressing.


Frankly, I'm tired of my house.  I don't feel excited about putting up Christmas lights or other décor.  The thought of going shopping holds absolutely no joy at all.  Even with the bit of economizing we've had to do this year, I have everything I need, and so do most of the people I know.  My grandsons already have an abundance of toys.  


And for the first time in nearly 50 years as a singer, I have no concerts to prepare for or attend.  My calendar feels empty, and I'm someone who likes to keep a bit of white space in my schedule.


Minimalism tells us that less is more, and that having time and space to savor the moments, rather than being rushed and stressed by owning and doing too much, is the secret to contentment.  It's the little things that bring us joy.


So what are some of those little things?  I need them.





4 ways to find holiday spirit in a dark time


1.  Remember happiness.

At least some of my holiday melancholy is related to nostalgia.  Time passes, things change, there are losses.  This year it's even more different because we can't travel or gather together the way we usually might.  It won't be like this forever, but we may legitimately miss what we're accustomed to.


I took some time to think about my happiest holiday moments as a child and as a parent.  I remembered:


  • crafting simple Christmas ornaments with my mom and siblings while listening to holiday music on the hi-fi
  • my tall skinny father in a Santa Claus outfit that fooled no one
  • writing some Christmas stories and poems for a school project
  • rehearsing and performing a concert of medieval Christmas carols with some friends in college
  • searching for a Christmas tree with my husband and kids at McBurney's farm in the mountains
  • going to our church on Christmas Eve, guided by hundreds of luminarias lining the walkways
  • long walks in the forest after Christmas dinner
  • listening to Handel's Messiah in the living room lit only by the tree and some candles
  • playing Estimation with a large happy group of extended family on Christmas evening (we called it Up and Down the River)
  • a holiday trip to the beach


I can't do all of these things this year, but I can do some of them.  And simply remembering and thinking about them was a pleasurable experience.


2.  Give presents to people who need them.

I'm not against giving gifts, but I know there is nothing I can buy to show someone how much I love them.  No one should compromise their budget, schedule, or well-being to find the "perfect" present.  Love doesn't come in a box.


However, a gift that meets a true need is actually fun to give.  And when you take your eyes off yourself and think about those who have less than you, it's hard to be depressed.

  • My son and his roommate have received a washing machine this holiday.  Neither has been able to work full time this year, so when their old washer died, they couldn't replace it.  Jon and I are happy to be able to fill this need, and they were delighted to accept.
  • Several other family members will be receiving goats and chickens for Christmas – that is, we're giving gifts in their honor to needy families in other parts of the world.
  • My father-in-law passed away in October, and my mother-in-law is moving away from the home where they lived for 57 years.  I'm making her a scrapbook of family events in the house and on the grounds (nine wooded acres) with photos collected from her children and grandchildren.


3.  Eat less and savor more.

For most of us, the holidays are a time of over-indulgence.  Every publication features recipes for feasting and food gifts.  We consume too many sweets, too much fat, too much alcohol, or all three.


Yet 42% of American adults are obese.  We don't need any of this food, but when it's widely available, we eat it.  I can eat it without thinking, often until I no longer feel well.  I always regret it.  There's nothing joyful about overindulgence.


I'm going to prepare two holiday treats – my favorite and my husband's.  That's it.  We'll be forced to savor each bite because the supply is limited.  And we plan to eat healthy foods first, before we have any treats.


4.  Focus on the good.

Jon and I have a habit of complaining about bad drivers we see on the road.  Speeders, lane switchers, tailgaters – we moan about all of them.  It makes us crabby and stressed.  But there are always bad drivers, and our carping won't change that.  So we can continue to make ourselves unhappy by focusing on the bad, or we can drive as safely as possible and withhold comment on others.  


We always have this choice:
 

  • We all have fantasies about a cozy, happy family, but that might not be our situation.  Accept your reality and don't expect perfection.  I choose to focus on what's good – my brother who makes every gathering bearable, my niece's sweet new baby, the funny stories my husband always tells about his childhood.
  • The news and social media can sap every bit of optimism and hope that I have, but I can choose to limit my exposure during the holidays.
  • I know the crowds and the pushiness will hurt my spirit, so I can choose to purchase online, or in the small locally-owned shops in old downtown.
  • Shorter, colder days may bother some of us, but we can choose to enjoy the crisp clarity of winter and find comfort in firelight, candlelight, Christmas lights, and hot cocoa.

Finding Christmas spirit might be as simple (and as challenging) as choosing it.





Updated May 2023

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

45 Useful Tips to Help You Responsibly Declutter Unwanted Items

By
Image
Do you ever drive down the highway or out on a country road and see someone's old couch or mattress?  When driving through the orchards and croplands around my town, I sometimes see stuff like this in an irrigation ditch.  I can't believe people do this, and leave it for the farmers to clean up or pay for disposal. Tossing stuff you no longer need or want into a dumpster isn't minimalism – it's the equivalent of littering , just like the people who throw things out on the side of the road.  It may seem simple, but it's not responsible or good for the environment. Unfortunately, some of what we remove from our homes is garbage , and there's no place for it but the landfill.  But when getting rid of clutter means mindlessly tossing it into the garbage, it becomes too easy to buy more and fill our homes up all over again.   By becoming more accountable, we change our minds about purchasing.  I believe that when you thoughtfully declutter, you'll become very sen
Read more

12 Tips to Try When You're Frustrated with Decluttering

By
Image
I won't sugar-coat it – decluttering is a hard job.  The more you're stressed and challenged by your home – the more you need the benefits that come with decluttering – the bigger the job probably is.  The advantages are real, but so is the frustration.  At times, you may feel tired, sad, or overwhelmed.  Letting go of stuff requires constant decision-making, and sometimes you'll need a break. And you deserve one!  You're not just decluttering, you're in the process of changing your mindset and your habits , and that's hard for anyone.  So when you feel like the job is too big, or that you should have everything under control, remember that no one has it all under control.  We're human, which means that we often have to learn the hard way.  But the victory will be even sweeter because you made it through the highs, the lows, and everything in between. When you feel like giving up, on decluttering or anything else, be gentle with yourself, and say goodbye to
Read more

Why You Should Make "Less is More" Your Mantra for Life

By
Image
Maybe you've heard the saying popularized by architect Mies van der Rohe in 1947:  "Less is more." It's an oxymoron – a phrase that seems to contradict itself.  Others include "old news," "open secret," "unbiased opinion," and "awfully good."  Or the lament, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." What does "less is more" mean?  It's wonderfully open-ended.  Answers to that are as varied as the people who reply.  Consider: Less anxiety, more peace. Less debt, more savings. Less busywork, more substance. Less clutter, more space. Less comparison, more contentment. Less sugar, more vegetables. Voluntary simplicity Back in the 1990s, a fair number of Americans realized that the continual quest for more and better was stressing them out and keeping them from creating lives of purpose.  After the consumerist binge of the yuppie-era 80s, some started wondering if the big house, flashy car, exotic vacation, and Rolex we
Read more

Why You Should Try Wearing the Same Clothes Every Day

By
Image
Wearing the same clothes every day would get boring, wouldn't it? A long time ago, I had a job that required a uniform, and I have to say it did make life easier .  I had three copies of my work outfit, and there was never a question about what to wear.  I never worried whether my clothes were stylish or "right," because everyone else wore the same thing. The same argument has been used in public and private schools in favor of student uniforms.  Rather than constant worries about fashion and comparisons and dress codes, a uniform makes everything simple.  It's one less thing to think about in the complex life of a student. Many people argue that clothes make a statement about who you are.  "I express myself through my clothes" is a comment I've often heard, usually from women.  The idea of a uniform scares them, because how will they make themselves noticeable or unique ? I think we might be imagining some sort of Handmaid's Tale society, where we
Read more

One Question That's Keeping Your Home Cluttered

By
Image
Have you ever tried decluttering with a child?  You walk into their room, or the family room, or wherever the toys are piled highest, and it's so overwhelming you just feel like dumping the lot. It may be a natural feeling, but you know it would be cruel, and that's not what you want.  You just want some clarity.  You want some peace.  You want some space to walk around without stabbing your foot on a toy! So you pick up something you know your child hasn't actually played with in quite a while.  It's a thing that gets tossed around when she's looking for the thing she really wants.  It's pretty ratty-looking too (unless it's made of plastic, in which case it will look practically brand-new when it's been in the landfill for a century).  Then you ask her the question . It's the question that's going to keep your entire house cluttered. Reasons we keep our stuff We're really good at accumulating, but not so good at getting rid of things.  Tha
Read more