Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

We're all consumers.  We must consume to meet our needs and stay alive.  We need food, shelter, medical care.  We need clothing, communication, transportation, education.  We need , so we consume. But our culture is focused on constant consumption, 24/7, without a thought for the cost to others or our planet.  Our society is self-centered, but we also idolize "the rich and famous" who indulge in luxury and waste.  There's no satisfaction in our throwaway culture. We also consume time, that precious, limited, God-given resource.  We waste a ton of it, mindlessly watching TV, playing video games, and scrolling through social media.  Then we squeeze and pinch the rest of it, priding ourselves on our busyness, gaining self-esteem by imagining we are indispensable because our calendars are crammed.  We shortchange necessities like relationships, creativity, and sleep in favor of our go-go time consumption. Our use of time has become a g...

Here's an eye-opening experiment that might inspire change: Open your closet door, dig past the first items you see, and look at ten things you've shoved toward the back.  Out of those ten things, how many of them fill you with buyer's remorse?  How many of them had you completely forgotten you owned? Find an old grocery store or Target receipt.  How many items on that receipt fill you with buyer's remorse?  How many of them had you completely forgotten? Look at the last ten purchases on your Amazon account.  How many of them fill you with buyer's remorse?  How many of them had you completely forgotten? Look at your credit or debit card statement.  Ask yourself the same two questions about the first ten purchases. Buyer's remorse is a good thing. Don't despair.  No one is perfect at this test.  I'm certainly not.  Whenever I dig into closets or drawers or look at my Amazon history, I usually find at least a couple of items I've for...

We all want the best for our kids.  But what is best? The typical American family is drowning in stuff:  toys, clothes, electronics, trophies, paper, plastic.  It's a privilege to be able to afford this abundance, but when it comes to our kids, we're a nation of hyper-consumers.  Perhaps you've seen this statistic:  the U.S. is home to just 3% of the world's children but consumes  40% of the world's toys.   Let that sink in.... Cut the toys in half, and the number would remain overabundant.  Cut the number in half again, and it's still more than enough! Obviously, we all want our children and grandchildren to be happy.  That's the impetus for buying all of the toys, clothes, and other items.  But the avalanche of stuff is doing more harm than good. Attachment to a toy or a blanket is a natural stage of child development.  Psychologists call these "transitional objects" – items that help comfort a child as he transitions from b...

Have you ever thought you might be a burden to others? My mother passed away last February, and I'm glad for her sake that she suffered from dementia.  She never knew how much care she needed during the last two years of her life, and especially during the last six months, when she could no longer do much of anything for herself.  She would never have wanted to require that level of care – she would have felt that it made her a burden. None of us wants to be a burden on our loved ones, either at the end of our life or afterward.  Yet that's exactly what we might be – without even realizing it. Here's a simple question. What will happen to all of your stuff when you die?  I don't mean your property or other assets in your will.  I'm talking about your stuff – the stuff in your house right now.  Your clothes and shoes and furniture and kitchenware and books and mementos. Some of that is stuff you need, because you use it every day, week, or month.  Othe...

When I was growing up, I sometimes imagined the year 2000, but I never  ever  thought of 2020.  It sounds a bit like science fiction, doesn't it? Sometimes, when you listen to the news of unrest and violence in the world, the escalating effects of climate change, the widening gap between rich and poor, the increasing reliance on technology instead of our own memories, intelligence, and physical abilities... it's easy to worry and fear the future. Fear of the unknown is a natural human response.  We all have that "fight or flight" instinct, and we all probably lean more to one side or the other.  In the face of a challenging unknown, my brother is likely to become aggressive and take risks.  His "fight" instinct is stronger than mine.  I'm more likely to fret and hang back, to try and assess all possibilities before committing myself. I want to be a person of faith and hope.   I want to take care of real life difficulties with patience, ...

What makes you get out of bed, excited to begin the day?  I'm willing to bet it isn't a new outfit or doodad for your home, or even a new car.  Isn't it more likely to be a long-anticipated event, such as a trip you've planned? a challenge, such as opening night of the play you're in? a visit with a much-missed loved one? the beginning of a new project, or the long-awaited completion of a project? The roots of happiness Some of those things don't cost money.  They don't involve shopping at all.  A pleasure that quickly fades, like buying a new phone or eating another meal out, will never cause you to jump out of bed in the morning. Bertrand Russell, one of the most influential philosophers of the 20th century, struggled with depression – even contemplated suicide – as a teen.  As an adult, he sought to discover the root causes of happiness and unhappiness, the factors that would either make you excited to get out of bed in the morning or not. In...

Self-talk is the voice inside your head.  It makes no sound, but it's a constant narrator.  It controls your decisions, your actions, and your attitude toward yourself and your experience of the world.  And for most of us, self-talk is negative. We may put on a good show, but many of us are mired in negative self-talk.  Have you noticed?  That insistent voice has added to your stress and anxiety for years, maybe even decades.  It has magnified your worries and lessened your happiness.  It turns small problems into big ones, and overlooks or plays down all that is lovely and praiseworthy.   It steals your joy. We have the power to choose. So stop it!  Stop giving negative self-talk the upper hand.  We all have the power to choose:  Fear or faith?  Anxiety or peace?  I know what I want.  Don't you want it too? Is is possible to be happy all of the time?  Probably not.  Is it possible to be miserable ...

It's January 1:  a new year, a new decade, and a time when many people are thinking of a new start. Now, I don't mean that your past needs to be dumped, or that you must leave your loved ones and launch into the world with nothing but a backpack.  I'm not saying you need to move house, change careers, or end relationships. The beauty of a fresh start When my husband and I had to give up our house after the 2008 economic downturn, we could have decided to blame others and become bitter and mired in our own mistakes.  Instead, we chose to be thankful for the opportunity to start over and to find out how little our happiness depended on where we lived or what we owned.  We decided to reset , and it brought freedom, peace, and hope in place of the entrapment, stress, and regret we had lived with for too long. A reset lets you get back to basics, to challenge assumptions and habits that have crept into your life.  It lets you notice and give thanks for all of th...