Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

Does the idea of minimalism seem cold and harsh to you?   All-white rooms, steel-and-glass furniture, stark modernism, no kids, no pets, no friends.... Maybe you like the idea of less clutter and more space, a schedule that's less crazy and more rewarding, and finances that don't keep you up at night.  But you think "minimalist" means all or nothing – an exclusive club that you don't belong in. If that's you, I get it – because that's not what I mean when I talk about minimalism. To me, minimalism isn't about living with as little as possible.  It's not about some magic number of possessions.  It's about balance – just enough, but not too much – and intentionality – living with purpose so that your home, calendar, and finances reflect your values. The result is that the things you care about are protected and emphasized, and the things that are less important (or keep you from pursuing what you care about) have been removed to increase your p...

I thought I had a small home until I met a couple who live in their van.   I don't mean a top-of-the-line, custom-converted van.  I mean an old, beat-up van that barely runs, with a mattress and trash bags full of belongings in the back.  It makes my 800-square-foot apartment look palatial. I saw this "home" in the Walmart parking lot.  On hot summer days this year, it was parked under a tree at the farthest end, with both doors open to catch any hint of a breeze as the temperature climbed above 95℉.  My gifts of a few dollars and cups of McDonald's iced tea might have helped this couple a little, but couldn't change their situation. When I drove away in my 2024, paid-off, air-conditioned, recently-cleaned Kia sedan that doesn't have to carry everything I own, I reflected on my wealth. A changed perspective My father worked 60 or more hours a week because he had to.  My mother budgeted carefully for food, clothing, and household costs.  We never h...

Recently, the 20th anniversary of my father's death came and went.   Dad died unexpectedly one evening after my husband and I and our teenaged children had been visiting.  We drove the 70 miles home, happy about our plans to visit again the next week. My mom went into their bedroom to get Dad's bed and other stuff ready so she could help him settle for the night.  (He had ALS and was confined to a wheelchair.)  She went back out to the living room and found him.  The paramedics who came within minutes after she called 911 pronounced him dead.  Then she called me.  The phone was ringing as we walked in the door of our home. ALS is a horrible disease with no cure.  I had been mourning my father for more than two years already as he gradually lost his ability to walk, swallow, and even sit upright or turn his head.  But I wasn't prepared for him to die.  None of us were.  ALS is a slow death – and then it's sudden. Why we hang on ...

A lot of decluttering advice seems geared toward young people with plenty of energy and agility.   But if you move a little slower due to age, illness, infirmity, or heavy responsibilities (such as a couple of toddlers underfoot, or busy teenagers who don't yet have drivers' licenses), then the advice to clear out an entire room in a single decluttering marathon isn't realistic. I'm with you on this, because I have reached a certain age (ahem!) where a slower pace and less standing, bending, and lifting suits me just fine. Here are some practical tips and a simple decluttering method that lets you clear clutter in short, steady bursts without getting burned-out. Before you start Before we talk about the method, there's a decision you need to make: What will you do with the stuff you declutter? It's easier to declutter when you have a clear plan for how to dispose of your unwanted items.  Especially if you're low on energy, actually getting those things out o...

What is minimalism?  I like this definition from blogger Michael Ofei:  Minimalism is "the process of identifying what is essential in your life and having the courage to let go of the rest." It's a tool that helps you decide what's most important so you can make room and time to do more of what you care about.  Where minimalism starts, and what it does for you Minimalism starts where you do – at home.  After all, your home is an extension of who you are.  Your clothing, personal care items, what you cook and eat, how you entertain yourself, and your most intimate relationships are all centered in your home.  Most items in your home tell a story, particularly your books, collections, photos, artwork, and even things like your dining table and your favorite armchair. Your home is also the place where you have your worst experiences.  It's where arguments happen, bills come due, families fall apart, or where you receive phone calls about the death of a ...

We pile on "to-dos," but don't consider "stop doings."  We buy "new and improved" possessions, but don't remove old ones.  We create incentives for the good habits we want to cultivate, but don't get rid of obstacles to our new behaviors.  Every day, we neglect a basic way to make things better.  We fail to subtract. Why is this ?    It's true that subtraction can be hard to pull off, because there are biological, cultural, and economic forces that push us toward more.  But we have a choice.  We can learn to do better, and reap all the benefits of less stress, less busywork, and fewer things to divert us from what we really care about . Exploring less Wow.  Editing can really make a message pithy.  "We don't subtract.  Why?  Biological, cultural, and economic forces push us toward more.  But we have a choice.  We can do better, and reap all the benefits of less."  115 words pared down to 29.  I'm ...