Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

My husband Jon and I currently reside in an 800-square-foot apartment.  It has two bedrooms (one for our grandsons when they visit), one bathroom, an eat-in kitchen, and even a tiny laundry area.  Many people have asked us how we manage in such a small space, and they have a hard time believing that I actually think we have plenty of room!* * Yes, I'm aware that the idea that 800 square feet is "small" for two people is a very North American attitude. In a couple of years, we plan to move closer to our kids and grandkids, and while I hope to still have my own laundry space, no matter how small, we realize that we'll probably only be able to afford one bedroom, since Sacramento rents are higher than the small town where we live. So how will we adjust?  And how do my friends Cinda and Bruce manage to live in a motor home?  How do some of you manage in tiny houses?  Here are some of my best tips. * By the way, this blog is supported by readers, not ads.  If yo...

Chronic procrastination keeps you from achieving the best you're capable of.  That's enough reason to overcome it, in my opinion.  But if you need more, consider that chronic procrastination drains your energy.  It creates guilt, stress, and mental exhaustion that feels heavy – almost like depression. Procrastination isn't the same as laziness or even lack of willpower.  It's a symptom of low dopamine or of an addiction to frequent dopamine hits.  Your brain can get stuck in a cycle which causes you to struggle for long-term focus.  This cycle drains motivation and leaves you feeling aimless and powerless. What is procrastination? Procrastination is "the voluntary delay of a planned action," according to insightspsychology.org .  This can happen even when you know the results will be negative, such as missed deadlines, increased stress, feelings of inadequacy, and fewer accomplishments. At its core, procrastination is a coping mechanism – a way to avoi...

Do circumstances in your life make it clear you need to declutter?  Maybe you're planning a big move. Maybe you're part of a couple that's ready to merge households. Maybe you're going to have a child. Maybe you've developed a chronic condition that makes it harder to care for your home and all of your stuff. Maybe you're older and need to clear out a lifetime of belongings so you can downsize or move into assisted living. Maybe you've been left the job of decluttering after the death of a loved one. Or maybe you've simply looked around your home and decided you have too much and need to pare down. Whatever the reason, you may be feeling daunted by the task.  If you're like many of us, that apprehension and nervousness could keep you stuck.  Let me help you get past your anxiety so you can get started and persevere to reach your goal. Now, I'm not going to tell you that decluttering is easy.  I know you have pictures and papers, keepsakes and col...

You've seen the pictures.  The aspirational penthouse apartment.  An all-white or neutral-toned room with a couch, table, plant, and a piece of art.  Is it a museum or a home?  Hard to tell, and certainly hard to live in.  Cold and impersonal are the most accurate descriptors. Is this minimalism?  Well, it fits one definition.  Life pared down to the bone. That's not the minimalism I'm espousing on this site.  To me, minimalism is finding the just-right level of possessions that allows for comfort, without tipping over into either ascetism and scarcity on one side, or stress and overwhelm on the other.  What's minimal for me might not be exactly right for you, but here's the truth:  If you live in what's known as the "developed" world , you've probably gone way beyond a minimalist life.  You probably have extras, duplicates, and non-necessities clogging your living space and keeping you from being as free and fulfilled as you could ...

I remember the U.S. Bicentennial very well.  The Semiquincentennial this year (Who even knew that was a word!) is nothing like it. For years leading up to the Bicentennial, patriotic fervor and nostalgia were high.  Every girl in my high school had at least one "prairie dress" – a long, gathered skirt, often in a floral pattern featuring red, white, and blue.  I remember the quilt on my bed – it was also red, white, and blue.  "Early American" furniture and décor had been popular for quite a while.  We had Bicentennial quarters, commemorative stamps, a special Bicentennial license plate on the car, and the nightly "Bicentennial Minutes" on CBS-TV. I also remember reading about the Bicentennial Wagon Train that started in Washington State and traveled across the country to arrive at Valley Forge in Pennsylvania on July 4th.  There was a televised armada of tall ships that sailed from New York to Boston.  My family visited my aunt and uncle who lived in...

As a young singer and actress, I was always in competition with someone.  After all, only one person can get the star solo.  Only one person can get the leading role.  Maybe only one person can get the scholarship or the coveted spot in a graduate program. Viewing life as a competition made me work hard and practice longer.  It made me very attentive to the details and nuances of music and literature.  It made me stay on course despite obstacles.  I've gained many benefits from my abilities to learn, concentrate, and persevere, and I'm thankful I learned those skills at a young age. But a competitive life also stole a lot of joy I should have gained from my art.  It made me selfish and critical – of others, but especially of myself.  It made me cliquish as it narrowed my circle of friends.  And at times, it made me feel worthless when I didn't achieve the success for which I had worked so hard. On the same team There's a better way to live, a...