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How Effective Change Begins - Not With Politics, But With You

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As those of us in the U.S. near the end of this election season, I'm finding it hard to remain positive.  Maybe you're feeling the same. I have no intention of writing about politics or candidates or parties.  It's not going to happen.  But even though I spend minimal time reading about, listening to, or discussing most of the claims made by politicians, it's hard to escape the tirades, fear-mongering, and – unfortunately – outright lies that are publicized over all forms of media all day, every day. It's become ugly, and a bad advertisement for democracy and our supposedly great nation. American ideals All over the world, there are people who long for what the U.S. claims to have, and what was articulated by President Franklin Roosevelt – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, and freedom from fear.  They long for what President Barack Obama celebrated in his second inaugural address – a freedom that is not reserved to the lucky, a happiness that
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The Hygge Way to Clean and Declutter

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When I returned home from a weekend trip recently, I immediately unpacked my suitcase, washed a load of dirty clothes, and put everything away.  It made me feel settled and at home.  It was comfortable. A few days later, I felt a bit restless, so I set my writing aside and started cleaning.  I cleaned the refrigerator door and wiped the kitchen counters.  I swept the porch and mopped the floor in our small entry hall.  I decluttered a few old papers from my file box.  It felt good. Self-soothing with home care For me, cleaning, organizing, and decluttering are a form of self-care.  Tidying gives me satisfaction.  It makes me feel that I'm managing my life and ready for what's next. A hygge home isn't dirty.  It's not cluttered with garbage, dirty dishes, or things we never use or put away.  It's not covered in a thick layer of dust.  So don't decide that pouring a glass of wine, lighting a candle, and snuggling under a blanket is hygge, but running the vacuum is
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How to Get Rich with Minimalism

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I few weeks ago, I read a post about how 20 years of minimalist living can make you a millionaire. It's not a get-rich-quick plan, but unlike many financial schemes, it's a sure bet.  Author Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com uses conservative figures to make it clear that minimalism can save you a lot of money which, reinvested over time, can make you financially independent.  It's useful to see the details spelled out, which I didn't do in my post How Minimalism Has Made Me Rich . Not the people you want to follow A 2017 Pew Research study found that 54% of Americans spent more than they earned every single month .  While the personal savings rate increased in 2020 when people needed to stay at home, a surge of spending and debt began again once COVID-related restrictions were lifted.  It's safe to say that even more people are over-spending today, paying for their lifestyles with ever more credit card debt . When the Joneses spend more than they earn and sa
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Humans 2.0: How to Achieve the Next Great Step in Our Evolution

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You've probably seen sci-fi books and movies that talk about "the next stage in human development."  Mostly, they refer to advances in technology and artificial intelligence.  Those are supposed to enable us to upload our consciousness into bodies that won't age or die, that can gather, store, and retrieve information thousands of times faster than a mere human brain – the next step in our evolution. That sounds terrifying to me. But what if there's another way to advance in our development?  What if there's another way to become more and better than what we are now?  I'm not talking about figuring out how to stop replication errors in our cell production so we can live to be 200.  I mean how we can improve our thinking, and ultimately our lives. I think I know what that is. The secret to our evolution Like all humans, I'm hardwired to look for problems.  It's a matter of survival.  I'm always aware of dangers and difficulties.  My default resp
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On the Road to Recovery

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My name is Karen, and I'm not perfect. I've never gone to an AA meeting, and maybe you haven't either, but we've all seen them portrayed on TV.  Each person who shares begins with their name and addiction.  And the response?  No judgment.  No condemnation.  Not even, "You should do X to fix yourself."  The response is simply, "Hi [your name]." What's offered is welcome, acceptance, a listening ear, and support. Why we live at odds with others All too often, we don't approach other people this way.  We don't do this for each other.  Instead of listening and talking, we take offense.  We decide we are right, we have to be right.  We rush to judgment, forgetting that we too should start with "I'm Karen, and I'm not perfect." When we forget that we're a work in progress, just like everyone else, we divide ourselves from others.  We create "them" (the ones that don't meet our standards of acceptability) an
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Stop Competing and Comparing and Start Collaborating and Encouraging

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I'll admit, I've spent most of my life competing against others rather than encouraging them.  Success has always been important to me, and was important to my parents.  My desire to be the best often caused me to tear others down instead of building them up.  That was wrong of me, and I'm sure I missed out on some valuable friendships because of it.  Learning to collaborate and encourage at an early age would have benefitted not just my rivals, but me too. The mindset of competition assumes there's a finite amount of success – that one person's accomplishment means there's less opportunity for me.  That thinking is wrong.  There's probably no limit to the good and valuable things that can be achieved. Cooperation begins where competition leaves off. Of course, sometimes there is only one winner.  There's only one first place and one gold medal.  If you're competing for a scholarship or a coveted job, there's only one opportunity to get what you
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How to Bring Out the Awesome in Others - and Yourself

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A confidence boost can take many forms.  A new outfit or a new hairstyle can make you feel attractive and put together.  Getting a promotion at work makes you feel appreciated and successful.  Accomplishing a goal, such as completing a 10K race, writing the first draft of your book, or mastering a new cooking technique can make you feel not only satisfied, but powerful . This isn't about developing an over-inflated ego or becoming a narcissist.  To be happy, we need to feel useful and knowledgeable and believe that we'll be able to cope with our lives. How compliments help A lot of us give compliments as a way to be sociable and supportive to friends, co-workers, or even strangers.  And many parents are convinced that their children's self-esteem hinges on receiving plenty of compliments and rewards just for showing up.  Yet too often we don't make enough of an effort to compliment other people close to us, such as spouses, siblings, or parents. It's true that a co
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